Advice to the Tigers via movie quotes
Must be playoff season; for some reason I caught a lot of sports movies on TV last weekend. I thought it would be fun to take some quotes from the movies I caught parts of and apply them to the Tiger’s 163rd game of the season, and to some other noteworthy news.
“During this fight, I’ve seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that’s better than twenty million. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!” — Rocky Balboa, Rocky IV. To the Detroit Tigers clubhouse sans Miguel Cabrera: You’re pissed at Miguel, but you’re going to have to get over it. Miguel is going to have to shape up a little, and you’re going to have to forgive him by 5pm EST Tuesday.
“YOU CAN’T WIN!” – Adrian Balboa, Rocky IV. Hopefully, to the Minnesota Twins…
“You see? He’s not a machine, he’s a man, he’s a man.” — Duke, Rocky IV. To the Tiger’s pitching staff, describing Joe Mauer. Fu-Te Ni may play a prominant role (Nate Robertson was warming up in the ninth inning Sunday; Bobby Seay’s availability worries me here) but Ni may not get this reference.
“If he dies, he dies.” — Drago, Rocky IV. To the Metrodome… die a quick death.
“There is no tomorrow! THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!” — Apollo Creed, Rocky III. I feel like Big Al. Just sayin’… the Tigers can’t leave anything on the table.
“The boys are all here for ya, we’ll back you up, we’ll be there, cause, Billy, we don’t stink right now. We’re the best team in baseball, right now, right this minute, because of you. You’re the reason. We’re not gonna screw that up, we’re gonna be awesome for you right now. Just throw.” — Gus Sinski, For Love of the Game. To Rick Porcello, on an interesting matchup in his very very young career. Porcello needs ground ball outs, pitching to contact, and quick innings. Go deep into the game and shorten Detroit’s bullpen young man. Key matchup is Detroit’s bullpen vs the Twins; if Miner is used in the sixth, this might get interesting. note — I forced myself to watch this f’ing movie again this weekend. Its worse the second time; there should be an edit that kills the love story.
“Tell them I’m through, “for love of the game”" — Billy Chapel, For Love of the Game. Nice knowing you Mr Huff and Mr Washburn. Sounds like Ryan Raburn will get the start over Huff.
“I make the league minimum.” — Jake Taylor, Major League. To Ryan Raburn and Zach Miner, the cheapest players on Detroit’s roster that might have a deciding impact on Detroit’s playoff chances. Raburn has to play well to offset the lack of offense recently, and Miner will most likely be called upon to close the gap between Porcello and Lyon/Rodney.
“Family’s important shit, man.” — Steve “lips” Kudlow, The Story of Anvil. To the Tigers’ clubhouse. It might be a divided locker room due to some late night incidents recently, but listen to “Lips”. (note: Solid F’ing movie here; should be on DVD soon, i caught it on VH1 Classic Saturday night)
“But watch out for in your ear” — Shoeless Joe Jackson, Field of Dreams. To the Tigers batters, just in case Minnesota’s pitching staff haven’t forgotten last week’s closing game.
“All right people, we got 10 minutes ’till game time, let’s all gather ’round. I’m not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I’d just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we’d save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give ‘em all a nice big shitburger to eat!” — Lou Brown, Major League. To the Tigers –> The Tigers limped into this one. Some writers are on record saying this game is the the right to ‘lose to the Yankees’. Hold your head high and give the Twins all they can handle, and then stick it to the Yankees. (Lou Brown’s character is one for the ages)
“The only thing we had in common was that she was from Iowa, and I had once heard of Iowa.” – Ray Kinsella, Field of Dreams. I’m not a soccer fan, so I still love the fact that baseball unites a good part of the world. We saw it in the WBC, which i’m not excited about. It should be noted that the WBC pushed back the start of the season at least a week, and I still feel it had a direct affect on Magglio Ordonez’ season (not being able to prepare properly in relation to his age). It also meant my spring training trip made me miss half of the team.
“You know we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening. Back then I thought, well, there’ll be other days. I didn’t realize that that was the only day.” — Dr Archibald “Moonlight” Graham, Field of Dreams. To the Detroit Tigers… not to get too heavy, but some of them will never get the chance to get into the playoffs again. Don’t squander this opportunity. One victory and you’re in.
“There’s a bunch of cameras out there right now waiting to make a joke of this, Mick. So you can either stop, give them the sound bite, do the dance. Or you can hold your head up and walk by, and the next time we’re in Boston, we’ll go out there and work the wall together. Don’t help them make a joke out of you.” — Billy Chapel, For Love of the Game. To Miguel Cabrera… its been a tough few days. Own up and move on. I can’t comprehend the responsibilities of being a father and husband at age 26, let alone in a town where your family has a language barrier. THEN add the complexity of your contract and stature as one of the best players in the league… I’m sure the pressure can be stifling. But mistakes were made, and if you need to change some things, change some things. You’re going to have a giant bulls-eye on your back from now on. Don’t let yourself be a joke going forward.
“Good Match”…. “Hey why’d you get so crazy on me out there?”…. “Thats the name of the game”. Thunderlips / Rocky Balboa / Thunderlips exchange, Rocky III. To Ron Gardenhire… who I absolutely love and I want him to bear my children. He plays the game hard, expects his players to play hard.. and at the end of the day owns up for his mistakes or his player’s mistakes. I would love to root for his team… if he managed for the Tigers. (Note: my favorite part of Rocky III by far is the charity boxing / wresting match. Hulk Hogan nails this; rest of the movie has become fluff to me outside of the ‘ultimate male vs the ultimate meatball’ part).
“Well, Rock, let’s put it this way. Now, three years ago you was supernatural. You was hard and you was nasty and you had this cast-iron jaw but then the worst thing happened to you, that could happen to any fighter. You got civilized. But don’t worry kid. You know, presidents retire, horses retire, Man-o-war retired. They put him out to stud. That’s what you should’ve done, retired.” – Mickey, Rocky III. I worked on this all weekend, and I couldn’t believe such an appropriate quote for Magglio came up while I was watching clips of this movie. In 2006, Magglio hit the most famous post-season home run for Detroit since Kirk Gibson (my idol growing up). For most of this year, Magglio seemed washed up. Now? Detroit probably doesn’t make the playoffs without his second half hitting. Listening live to “this week in detroit tigers baseball‘ on Sunday, many of the panelists thought that if Detroit had a shot at this game, Magglio was the guy to deliver the knock-out punch.
So there you go. My prediction? Um… I’ll go 5-4 Tigers. Porcello with the win, Rodney the save. I have nothing to base this on. If Detroit wins, they’re already short handed against the Yankees because they can’t fully utilize their best weapon in Justin Verlander. But I’m heading to Vegas on Friday and will probably lose my ass on future games either way. I’ll end on this… Detroit has plenty of distractions going into this game. Its probably in their best interest to get over them (or ignore them) for the next few days. Its one glorious day. Go Tigers!